|WALLET CAUSES CONGESTION|
ANDI PETERS dropped his wallet last night and caused the entire West End of London to come to a standstill.
Peters, best known for messing up Top of the Pops, dropped the wallet at Piccadilly Circus, cutting off a major junction in the evening rush hour. As it was dark, it proved impossible to remove the item until cranes moved in this morning. Even so, it is expected to take much of the day to lift the wallet - so far six cranes have been unable to remove it.
Commuters everywhere have decided to take the day off, rather than risk getting caught up in the major congestion that has resulted from the closure of Piccadilly Circus and the surrounding area. Businesses are expected to lose millions and the stock market has crashed.
Andi Peters said, "Whoops!"
Elvis wins lottery
Teletubbies buy dome
Blair is new PM
So who is it?
Wallet causes congestion
Pollen on the line
It's a boy!
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day
Watch out for a wobbly warm front dawdling its way across the country tomorrow, more especially in the morning.