PROFESSOR WHAT EPISODES LOST!

DMTV HAVE CONFIRMED that a number of early episodes of its abysmal sci-fi series, Professor What, have been lost.

The flop series, which began in 1964, has consistently failed to prove a hit with viewers, yet misguided executives in 1960s chose to retain every episode in the archive, claiming that they had no doubt that viewers would still be interested in this creaky old black-and-white series even as far as fifty years in the future, for some reason.

For many years ardent Professor What haters, known as 'Whaters', have urged DMTV to permanently lose or destroy episodes from the series, and indeed some 41 episodes have disappeared since 1979. However, there still remained 106 episodes, starring the first two Professors Wilfrid Hardman and Patricia Troughtface, considered too rubbish to ever be broadcast again - until today.

In a statement, DMTV controller Des Wednesday, this morning confirmed that a further nine of those episodes have at long last gone missing. "I can't find them anywhere," said Wednesday. "I just don't know what I could have done with them. I've looked behind the cushions and under the fridge, but they're nowhere. I reckon it's highly unlikely we'll ever see them again now."

DMTV has learnt, however, that the episodes were 'acquired' by local mechanic Michael Medford. "I couldn't believe my luck when I received an e-mail from Princess Isabella Kajagoogoo, the daughter of the recently assassinated King of Nigeria," Medford told DMTV News in an exclusive interview. "All I had to do was to send her over nine episodes of the pathetic sci-fi series Professor What, and in return she has promised to transfer three million US dollars into my bank account! What could possibly go wrong?!"

The chairman of The Professor What Condemnation Society has said he is delighted by the news, but that efforts will continue to lose the remaining 97 episodes on the blacklist.



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