This story

DES AND MICK AT EASTER

by Robert Williams

"Hi there Mrs G!" was the highly original greeting Wayne made as he entered the cafe one morning.

"Hello Wayne," was the equally innovative greeting from Mrs Greasy.

"How would yer like to be in the money?!" said Wayne.

"Do tell, do tell!" said Mrs Greasy.

"As it's almost Easter, why don't yer make some choccie eggs and sell 'em to the kiddies!"

"I do that every year!" said Mrs Greasy.

"But this year, why don't we 'old an Easter egg treasure 'unt and charge entry fees!"

"That's a good idea. I'll get making some eggs right away!"

At the next meeting Mrs G and Wayne revealed the plan to the others.

"What a ridiculous idea!" said Clive. "You can't make poor innocent children eat Mrs Greasy's chocolate eggs!"

"I make those eggs every year!" said Mrs Greasy.

"But ever wondered why you never make any money out of them?" said Mick. "Wayne always ends up eating them all!"

"Why don't we just buy some eggs from the shop?" said Des.

"That would cost money," said Mrs Greasy. "I want to make as much as I can out of this!"

"And so do I! Mrs Greasy says she's gonna split the earnings equally, 80/20!" said Wayne.

"Anyway, we don't have to eat them, only those horrible little kids do," said Clive.

"What have we all got to do with this anyway?" said Des.

"Someone's got to dress up as the Easter bunny," said Mrs Greasy.

"I'll do it!!" exclaimed Wayne, throwing his arm into the air.

"No Wayne, we must decide this democratically," said Mrs Greasy. "Des, you're doing it."

"What?! Why me?!"

"I think you'd look good in a bunny costume," said Mrs G. "I'll get it all sorted out, don't you worry."

"It's not fair is it!!" whispered Des to Wayne.

"Yeah, that's right Des!" whispered Wayne. "We should revolt!"

"You're always revolting," whispered Des.

"No talking in the ranks!" snapped Mrs G.

"Sorry Mrs Greasy," said Des.

At the next meeting Mrs Greasy made her declarations.

"Even the declarations Mrs Greasy makes are revolting!" said Clive.

"Be quiet," said Mrs G. "I've had a word with the council and they've said we can use the park on Easter Day for our Easter egg hunt. And - I've made the eggs!!!"

Mrs Greasy presented them with her creations. Mick inspected the chocolate eggs and made his announcement that he had actually written some days before.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Greasy, but these eggs are not fit for human consumption. Give them to Wayne, and we'll buy some from the shops, although this will mean delaying the treasure hunt until Easter Monday as then the eggs will be half price."

"Stingy," said Des to himself.

Mrs Greasy reluctantly agreed, while Wayne happily tucked in.

"Now here's the Easter bunny costume I've hired from the shop," said Mrs Greasy, giving it to Des.

"Oh no," said Des. "I'm going to look really stupid in this."

On Easter Monday the team gathered in the park along with a crowd of children and their parents, for the 'Eggcellent Eggciting Easter Eggstravangza'. It had given Des and Wayne several hours of brainache to come up with that.

"Do I really have to do this?" said Des, who was very reluctantly dressed in his Easter bunny outfit.

"Yes you do," said Mick. "Before we start, could you just do a little practice?"

Des reluctantly bounced around and wiggled his tail.

"This is so embarrassing," he sighed.

"Now stop complaining, it's time we started."

The crowd of children clapped and cheered as Mick walked up onto a stage in front of them.

"Hello there children!" exclaimed Mick. "Welcome to our Easter egg treasure hunt!! First let's meet the Easter bunny who's going to hide the Easter eggs!!"

The children clapped and cheered as an embarrassed Des bounced onto the stage with a bucket full of eggs, and wiggling his tail.

"And here's Mike the Manic Mechanic who's going to read out the clues!!""

The children clapped and cheered as Mike came onto the stage.

"And here's the Reverend Richard Rogers who is going to give us a short Easter service."

The children sighed and groaned as Dickie the Vicar walked onto the stage.

After the children (not to mention their parents and everyone else present) had slept through the service, Des the Easter bunny bounced off with Wayne to hide the Easter eggs.

"Have you got that map?" said Des. "We've got to hide those eggs in exactly the right places. And don't forget, we've got to put at least four or five in each place."

When they had finished distributing the eggs under bushes and up trees, they sat down on a bench.

"Hmmm," said Des to Wayne. "You know, those eggs looked far too delicious to waste on those children."

"Yeah, that's right Des! After all, those kids shouldn't be eatin' chocolate - it'll rot their baby teeth!"

"You're right Wayne, we've got to protect those children's future!"

"Yeah, let's eat 'em ourselves instead!!" said Wayne.

"Where did you put that map then?" said Des.

"Oh...um...I can't remember..." said Wayne.

"Oh great," said Des. "We'll have to try to remember where we hid them!"

"But the park's gihugeous!" said Wayne. "They could be anywhere!"

They back-tracked their steps, and tried to find the hidden eggs - but they just could not remember where they put them.

"Right!" said Des. "There's only one thing for it, Wayne. We'll have to take part with them! Let's get back to Mechanic Mike the Manic and all those kids! I hope the clues aren't too hard!"

They hurriedly caught up with Mike, Mick and the children. Des tried to put on a brave face despite his bunny costume, while Wayne tried to avoid being seen by Mike.

"Hey, you crazy kiddies, the Easter Bunny's back from hiding those scrumdicious Easter eggs, so here's your first crazy clue!! This egg will be found in the ground where children play, so hurry up and don't delay!!"

"The ground where children play???" said Des. "Where could that be?"

"Come on, hurry up Des!!" exclaimed Wayne.

All of the children had already rushed off to the playground, while Des was scratching his head.

"Just follow them!"

Wayne hurried off in the direction that Mike, Mick and the children had gone, followed by Des who was being seriously held back by his bunny costume. They began searching round the playground with the children.

"Found them!!" shouted one small boy almost immediately, having located the first batch of eggs on the swings.

"Hey well done you!!" said Mike.

"It wasn't exactly difficult, was it?" said Mick. "Even Des and Wayne would have got that one!"

"Err, yes, of course," said Des.

"Here's the next clue!!" exclaimed Mike. "Water is near the place where you'll find the next eggs, so get there quickly using your legs!"

"Who wrote these stupid clues anyway??!!" exclaimed Mick.

"Mrs Greasy!" said Des. "I wish she hadn't made them so difficult! Where are we going to find water?"

The children had already headed off in the direction of the pond, and before Des and Wayne even had a chance to run after them a little girl had found the next few eggs under a tree by the pond.

"This is getting very annoying," said Des, as him and Wayne caught up with the children. "They're not giving us a chance!"

"Okay kids, here's your third clue!" exclaimed Mike. "A game of tennis would be played here, that's the next location have no fear!!"

"I don't know anything about sport!" said Des. "Where would you play tennis?"

"Search me!!" exclaimed Wayne.

"I'm going to have a word with Mike," said Des. "Oi Mike, these clues are too hard!"

"Those crazy kids aren't finding them hard !!" exclaimed Mike. "Anyway, this hunt's supposed to be for them, not you!"

"But wouldn't you rather have all those tasty Easter eggs for yourself?" said Des. "Just think of all that delicious chocolate, imagine sinking your teeth into it and slurping it round your mouth..."

"Stop it Des, you're making me salivate!!" exclaimed Mike. "Yes you're right, those little kids shouldn't be eating chocolate anyway, it's bad for their teeth!! Okay, I know what we can do..."

"What are you all talking about?!" said Mick, coming up to them. "You should be at the tennis courts with the kids!"

"The tennis courts! Of course!!" said Des. They rushed over to the tennis courts where another one of the kids had quickly located the eggs.

"Here comes your next clue, kids!!" said Mike. "The next eggs are hidden somewhere in the park!!"

The children looked confused.

"Cor, that's a bit harder than the other clues," thought Mick.

The children started to wander off in various directions.

"Right you two," said Mike to Des and Wayne. "Here's all the answers!"

"Under the bush near the toilets!" said Des. "Quickly, let's get there before the children!"

They ran off, leaving Mick standing there.

"What are they up to?" he said to himself, confused and perhaps a little suspicious.

As the children wandered aimlessly looking for eggs, Des, Mike and Wayne ran round frantically collecting up the eggs before the children got to them.

"Oh look, there's that little boy tucking into the chocolate eggs he found!" said Des. "Look, he's got six of them!"

"He doesn't need six!" said Mike. "That's so greedy! How many eggs have we collected up so far?"

"Um...we've got twenty-eight so far..."

"That boy won't mind if we borrow one or two of his!" said Wayne.

"Yes, and those eggs do still officially belong to us!" said Des.

They crept up behind him, nabbed all his uneaten eggs and dashed off with them. The little boy, meanwhile, burst into tears.

"Now let's see if we can find those other two kids who found the eggs..." said Mike.

"I can't wait to sink my teeth into all these eggs!" said Des, later. "We must have nearly fifty now!!"

"Hey, don't forget us!" said Wayne. "We want some as well!"

"Are there any more eggs left?" asked Des. "You've got the list, Mike."

"Oh...oh dear, I must have dropped it somewhere..."

"Oh great!!" exclaimed Des. "The rest of the eggs could be anywhere!"

They back-tracked their steps looking for the list as well as for any stray eggs. Meanwhile Mick, who was looking for them to reprimand them had found the list.

"I thought so!" he said. "Those three want those eggs for themselves, and deprive the poor children of them!"

Then he noticed a batch of eggs under a tree nearby. Mick thought they looked so delicious...

"Well...eating chocolate eggs isn't good for those kid's teeth...no one will notice if I borrow one or two of them..."

He collected up the eggs and then used the list to find some more.

Eventually, by the end of the day, all of the children returned disappointed to their parents.

"What's all this?!" said Mrs Greasy who was counting up the entry fees. "What's been going on?!"

Just then Des, Mike and Wayne returned with their arms full of eggs.

"Hmmmm, just look at those lovely chocolate eggs!!" said Des, whose mouth was watering.

"What have you been doing?!" said Mrs Greasy.

"Oh! Mrs Greasy! Hello!!" said Des, grinning nervously.

"I thought Mick was supposed to be keeping an eye on you lot! Where is he?"

She turned round and saw Mick grinning nervously, with his arms full of eggs as well.

"I don't believe you lot! You've deprived all these poor children of all those lovely chocolate eggs!"

"Well, now, let's not look at it that way," said Des. "We prefer to think that we're protecting those children's future by not allowing their teeth rot away!"

Mrs Greasy was not impressed. She grabbed all the eggs and distributed them to the happy children. This was met with groans from Des, Mick, Mike and Wayne.

"Hey you four, look on the bright side," said Mrs Greasy. "I knew you wouldn't be able to last the day without eating any chocolate yourselves! So I've made some more Easter eggs for you!!"

This was met with considerably more groans from Des, Mick, Mike and Wayne, who left the scene very quickly.


Copyright © Robert Williams
Random story: Des and Mick Meet the Chuckle Brothers