FARMER FILES (Volumes 1-31)

Farmer Files - whose first name is also known only by himself - is the local pig farmer, who speaks with a thick West Country accent and begins every sentence with the immortal phrase "Ooooh arrrrrr!!!

But in the year 2000 Files, in a shock move, sold his farm and became an entrepreneur, launching a whole range of products and ventures under the PIG brand, such as PIG FM, PIG breweries, PIGrail, PIG Motors, PIG leisure wear, PIG cosmetics... Yes, Farmer Files was the next Richard Branson. Well, they've both got beards anyway.

However the PIG empire was not to last, and finding himself down on his luck Files has returned to the farming way of life, and has been on the outlook for new ways to make a quick bob - such as turning his farmhouse into a hotel, and even running his own circus...

Date/place of birth: date unknown, somewhere in Dorset
Occupation: pig farmer
Married: unknown
Car: Land Rover
Favourite programme: Country Files
Favourite celebrity: Richard Branson
Favourite pop group: The Wurzels
Favourite product: anything produced by the PIG empire
Favourite saying: "Oooooh arrrrrr!!!"

Visit Farmer Files's blog

Farmer Files appears in the following stories: (show/hide)