Welcome to the bizarre world of Des and Mick!

WHO????

Des and Mick, that's them there, with their friends. They are the stars of some mildly amusing stories written by myself, Robert Williams.

This website will introduce you to the world of Des and Mick, and includes over 270 stories from the Des and Mick archive. The tone is decidedly comedic, definitely not to be taken too seriously. I can guarantee you will never have read anything like this before!!


About Des and Mick

The Chronicles of Des and Mick is very much character-driven, with totally ridiculous and unrealistic plotlines about a bunch of people with too much time on their hands.

Des Wednesday and Mick Woolley are next-door neighbours who live in an ordinary suburban street in Tolworth, Surrey, UK. Mick would probably be living a nice quiet ordinary life if it wasn't for having Des, the lunatic, living next door to him. Des has a nasty habit of coming up with ridiculous ideas, which, however hard he tries, Mick always manages to get mixed up in.

But then it gets worse. Just across the road lives Wayne Coach the window cleaner, who has a mental age of about four. His main purpose is to make Des look clever.

On the other hand, making Des look extremely stupid is his other next-door neighbour, the smarmy Clive Kippers. The BMW-driving Clive is always ready to slip in a snide comment, and usually manages to be right when Des is wrong. They are sworn enemies.

Just down the road, on the corner, is Mrs Greasy's cafe. Mrs G is known across the area as the worst cook in the world, yet she still can't understand why no one ever comes to her cafe, except for the regular gang who hold their regular meetings there while trying to avoid eating the revolting rubbish she serves them (except Wayne who loves it).

The other regular characters are the slightly dodgy Mike the Manic Mechanic who runs the local garage, and is always keen to sell the others one of the tasty fast Fords he has on his forecourt; Dickie the Vicar, the somewhat loopy reverend who is permanently holding charity discos to fix the church roof; and Farmer Files, the local pig farmer turned entrepreneur.


The Origins of Des and Mick

Des and Mick were created in September 1991, purely for one piece of English creative writing at school (see the scans here). In that story, simply titled Des and Mick , Mick finds himself sacked from his office job, so he and Des embark on an epic journey around Britain, but don't actually get very far. I later chose it to be included as part of my GCSE coursework!

But then I realised that there was plenty more scope in the characters I had created, so I decided to continue writing stories for fun. That original story, along with eight further stories, formed the first volume of The Chronicles of Des and Mick early in 1992. Before long the original duo were joined by more characters, and the 'gang' element became firmly established. Between 1992 and 2009 I wrote between one and three new volumes each year. Over time the stories became longer, and hopefully better, with more involved storylines.

In January 2000, Des and Mick entered the world of cyberspace, with the launch of this very website, where you can now read almost every story ever written. At the top of this, and every, page are the menu options where you can navigate round the various sections. There's also DMTV Online where you can find out about the gang's own television channel.

Des and Mick have even jumped on the blogging bandwagon - click here to visit our blog homepage from where you can access each character's own page.

The Chronicles of Des and Mick has so far run for 25 years, 31 volumes and over 270 individual stories. Remember, old jokes never die - there'll always be a home for them in Des and Mick!


Disclaimer

All content featured across Des and Mick Online is copyright © Robert Williams 1985-, unless otherwise stated, and may not be reproduced without the author's permission. All characters and situations are entirely fictitious and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental (and, indeed, would be extremely unfortunate).